The Girls

My next guests are… my crazy, hilarious best friends 🤍

With over 25 years of friendship, this one was a special one.

We talk about navigating our early days together to now stepping into a completely new journey… motherhood.

From real, unfiltered birth stories to the moments that somehow turn absolutely hilarious when you look back.

And Alice’s there too, not as a mum, but as someone who’s been right by our sides through it all. We get into what it’s like watching your best friends become mothers, and how that shapes you as well.

It’s honest, emotional, and full of laughs… because sometimes you just have to laugh at it all.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Hello, I'm your host Leanne and welcome to Motherhood Honestly where we get real about pregnancy, birth, and motherhood. The highs, the lows, and everything in between. Honest stories, messy moments, and sharing our journey together. Alright, guys, today's episode is a little bit special. I have been joined by my best friends Jasmine, Sarah, Charlotte, Kirsty, and Alice. With over 25 years of friendship, we've gone from sweet teenagers to drunk in her twenties and now into our thirties to having a whole new chapter. But today we're looking at it from the other side as well. Joining us is Alice, who is seen and supported through all of our motherhood journeys. She's been to more baby showers than she can probably count and wiped away more than a few tears along the way. Some of hers too. Today's conversation is honest, funny, chaotic, and just a reminder that your friends really are the ones who keep you going through every season. Let's get into it. Welcome to the podcast, girls. Hi!

SPEAKER_06 1:09

How is everyone?

SPEAKER_01 1:10

Yeah, good.

SPEAKER_06 1:12

We only saw each other yesterday, so how is everyone in the last 24 hours?

SPEAKER_07 1:17

Um busy.

SPEAKER_06 1:19

Yeah, life is busy. You've all got wine, bar me. Which says a lot about this section.

SPEAKER_05 1:26

I'm the one that's gonna have it all together, and you not gonna be polluted by the end of it. We needed some Dutch courage, so I like you, yeah. I'm gonna add some subtitles on the end when you start slurring. Uh translator. I feel like we should just address the chaos straight away.

SPEAKER_06 1:42

There is a lot of us, we're all a bit mental. Everybody's a mum, bar Alice, who's basically been through motherhood with us minus the child. Alice is basically the fun art, yeah, and we're all really jealous of Alice's lifestyle. Yeah. Um, I'm gonna jump straight in and ask a question uh for the mums. What is something that's caught you off guard about motherhood? Was there any moments when you were like, shit, this isn't in a baby book? Because I've got a few, but I wanted to ask what was your what was your kind of you know take on it?

SPEAKER_05 2:14

What did you think? Shit, no one told me about this. Mine, oh shall I get that? Mine was when I was pregnant with Nancy, yeah, and everybody else who was having their second child seemed to be all loved up and so excited for their next child to come along, and I hated every minute of it. Really? Yeah. W in what way? Because I thought that Elsie was gonna hate it, Elsie would hate having a sister, I'd ruined Elsie's life. Um yeah, I just I didn't know how I could love another child as much as I loved Elsie. So the whole pregnancy I thought I'd made a mistake. Yeah, and then as soon as she was here, obviously that all changed, but that caught me off guard. Yeah. Because that was just like natural fashion to have another child, and it was. Would you guys feel like that?

SPEAKER_06 3:03

Because you've all had two children, so did you guys feel like that? No, I said not me. Okay, well, okay, that's yeah, good point. I've only had lips, so I don't know, but I can imagine it's tough because, like you say, you've got this perfect little three the three of you, and then you're gonna add someone into the mix, and you've got all this love to Elsie. How are you gonna share love? Share your love. Absolutely, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

But you were the first one out of everyone to have a second.

SPEAKER_02 3:27

No, no, I was, yeah. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 3:30

Although Jaz was the first to bought pregnant, and then me. Which was just a shocker. Yeah, like yeah, to have a baby originally, yeah. But then second child, Charlotte, then Sarah got pregnant.

SPEAKER_06 3:42

So you Sarah's like you guys are quite close together, right?

SPEAKER_03 3:44

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that back to what Jazz said though. Always in the back of your head, you're like, How am I gonna give my everything to another child? When you've had your first, yeah, they are your world. You give them everything, and you're like, How can I share my love with another human being when I'm already giving so much to a child? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you do, you just do, you just naturally your mother and instinct comes in and you share your love and you love your children exactly the same. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 4:12

But I completely understand why Jazz is coming in. It's not that instant, but then when I saw everybody else, I was just like, oh god, like that, that did catch me off guard.

SPEAKER_04 4:19

But yeah, it's hard, it's just emotions, isn't it? Like you're going for your hormones are going to body and everything. Yeah. Um I think mine was sickness.

SPEAKER_02 4:29

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_04 4:30

Yeah. The second well the first time obviously, but then the second time I was so ill with Ariella before obviously I knew a girl, um, that I felt like a shit lumber to Alby because I physically could not function.

SPEAKER_06 4:42

Really?

SPEAKER_04 4:42

Until then I had tablets that had to go on.

SPEAKER_06 4:45

Like the anti-sickness tablets, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 4:47

And that's hard, isn't it? I suppose I obviously have only seen it from like me having just one child, but having to be a mum as well as being pregnant, is I'm assuming it's tough.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

Like, do you know what I mean? Yeah. Curse, did you find that like with the girls?

SPEAKER_05 5:02

Yeah, it was a little bit difficult being pregnant, obviously, and then having to look after any.

SPEAKER_01 5:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 5:08

Anyone else got any uh what was the question, I guess?

SPEAKER_06 5:11

It was the question was what is something that caught you off guard about motherhood? Can I say my thing? Yeah, do you know what mine was? Not being able to have a lion. I mean, I was gonna say something like that, but I didn't think that it would be right.

SPEAKER_05 5:22

Losing my freedom and myself. Yeah, yeah, you do lose yourself for like such a long time.

SPEAKER_06 5:30

I think um I we all know I love an early night, and when we bought Live Home, I was so shocked that like I just couldn't go to bed at nine o'clock, and then like 5am, they're up, and I was like, What?

SPEAKER_03 5:43

Yeah, sleep goes out the window when you have children.

SPEAKER_05 5:45

Um do you know what my issue was is I read all the stupid baby books, and then I was like, My baby's not like this. I've got Dottie who still doesn't sleep now, she's a year and a half, and she's not she's gone through the night twice, and it was like, Oh my god, we've finally done it, and then I'll get just too much back. Yeah, I still have three milks the night now at the moment. The girls didn't get through until gone one, both of them. Uh I mean I don't lie in anyway. I never have done.

SPEAKER_06 6:09

No, you're you aren't even when you're even when you each one night out, stick to the end and jump it up. Everyone alright? Anyone angry with me? Everyone's made it to you. You were made to be a brilliant. I'm gonna jump over to you, Al. What has it been like watching us kind of navigate motherhood? Have you anything like stuck out? Any points?

SPEAKER_02 6:43

I think it's really amazed me like how strong and um just how well and natural you all became mums. Like you've all had your ups and downs, and you're all gonna kind of talk about that today, but like you all took it with your stride, and it's been so nice to see you all like support each other and talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly, I think.

SPEAKER_00 7:13

Um, because I suppose for you like Jasmine being the first one, yeah, it was she like paved the way for the rest of you. 100%.

SPEAKER_05 7:22

I say this, you did absolutely. I had no clue what I was doing.

SPEAKER_06 7:25

It's funny because I I don't know about you guys, but when Jasmine felt broken, and actually for all of you, for just me personally, I was like, shit, they all put their shit together. Like, can I just do such a Zen mum? And like Sarah, like it's got like Sarah's one but all the smack stuff. Charlotte's like the fun mum. Like, it just do you know what I mean? Like Charlotte was like 200 if he held it. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 7:44

Yeah, too.

SPEAKER_03 7:46

Yeah, that's hard.

SPEAKER_06 7:49

But do you know what from the out like I say from the outside looking in, like I was saying, like I thought you guys all had your shit together, but actually behind closed doors, no one's got it together.

SPEAKER_05 7:56

We were dying and struggling. I know the mum has got it together, they made it like doing it. Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_00 8:03

But I think the good thing for all of you is it wasn't behind closed doors. You were very open and very honest about it with your struggles, and I think that is so key for new mums, especially because they're all going, how is everybody else coping with this? Yeah, it's so nice to hear people going, actually, I'm not coping.

SPEAKER_05 8:20

Yeah, and this is why this is great because it gives everyone opportunity to talk and think, Oh, I'm not alone, like they're going through it as well. They did, oh, I did that. I think no, like you said, that motherhood can be really lonely, and I know in you know, all of us can agree um that we all felt the same. Yeah, well, you all feel the same, but then everybody has their own different individual. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_06 8:42

Yeah, but do you know what I feel like um I can now like personally pick up when somebody is not doing as well as well, like do you know what I mean? Like you can you can tell, can't you? Like you know when your mum and mum's in the trenches and stuff, yeah. Like I feel like I'm quite like my spidey senses are on.

SPEAKER_05 8:58

Do you know what I mean? Do you guys feel like that? Well, yeah, because we saw it with you.

SPEAKER_07 9:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 9:04

Yeah. And we all knew before you knew.

SPEAKER_07 9:07

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 9:07

100%. Yeah. But I think also as us being all very good friends, we pick up on everything.

SPEAKER_03 9:14

Yeah, so you know, that's what we're here for, aren't we? To pick each other up and notice when people might need a little bit more support, or just have a cup of tea with the girls, talk it all over, you know.

SPEAKER_06 9:24

Sometimes that's what you need, isn't it?

SPEAKER_05 9:26

Yeah, other friends are invaluable because you no one else can really see what you're going through. Like you, like you said, it's like an open space to come and like talk, and yeah. I mean you really need that when you're a mum because like every day's different, you've got different challenges, and if you can't have someone going through it with you in that moment, you know, it can be tough. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_06 9:46

And I think the really pivotal thing that I took away from this was when I was really struggling, and I all thought you had your shit together, none of you did, but none of you had your shit together. Um and actually it made me feel less alone.

SPEAKER_07 10:01

Does that make any sense?

SPEAKER_06 10:02

Yeah, because you do feel like you're the only one, and you probably all felt like parts like that. You think, oh my god, my I'm the only one, my baby doesn't know to sleep, or you know. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 10:10

Those sort of challenges, they're not feeding, and they're not eating their dinner, they're not doing this, yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 10:14

Exactly that, and I feel like I guess this is why I've done this podcast really, and to create the space for people to come on and say, Do you know what?

SPEAKER_05 10:20

No, actually, it's not all sunshine and rainbows. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_06 10:25

Yeah, it still is, yeah, it still is.

SPEAKER_05 10:29

We're all knacked, I'm going away. But I think about Alice as well, like she has been even though she's not been through it, like she's always been really supportive of all of us and like what we've gone through, and yeah, she's always been there.

SPEAKER_04 10:42

And she just understands, you know.

SPEAKER_06 10:45

Yeah, I think you've got nieces and nephews out as well, you know. You and you're so amazing for all the kids, and all the kids love you.

SPEAKER_02 10:52

Yeah, they do, they really do. Yeah, it's good because I get to have all the fun and like give them loads of sugar and then go to see a lady, and then she gives them wild and jumping off the wall.

SPEAKER_07 11:03

Why don't we go running water?

SPEAKER_05 11:05

Or like yesterday, she went running down to the park, and then we felt guilty for all of a second, and we was like, actually, no, she doesn't have gym. She can go run with the park.

SPEAKER_06 11:16

We were in the pub on Friday, and I was like running off with Nim and me and Toby just sat there drinking our wine, like have a good time.

SPEAKER_02 11:24

But that's what I like to do, like it's because I understand like how much you guys do, and it's not like all of you have got jobs as well.

SPEAKER_05 11:33

So, like being a mum and being that kind of caregiver is a job in itself, yeah, yeah. And you're doing that on top of also working, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

And so if I can be there for five minutes and take the kids off your hands, just go and push them on the swings in the park. Well, are you doing anything on Friday night? Any on my terms, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 12:03

Um, so I'm gonna get into um the births now. Because you've all had really interesting but different births. Don't know why I was clapping then. I was clapping for you all. Does anybody want to go first?

SPEAKER_05 12:17

Because yeah, who does anyone want to go first? I'll go first. Go on first. For me, it was my totally two different experiences. Obviously, with Indy, I had a lovely birth, and I was not prepared for my birth with Jotty. I had a really nice pregnancy with Indy, and then up until I went overdue, because I like to have everything in my head exactly when I think it's gonna happen, and it didn't, and I was like, okay, so then like I was out of my comfort zone, and I went two weeks overdue, and the last sort of three days I did have a bit of a breakdown. Yeah, but I actually lost my mind for the first time. I don't think it ever gone completely back, but I did. But then my birth with her was amazing. It was literally like textbook water breaks within sort of seven hours, she was here. Beautiful. So I was so not prepared when um I had my second daughter dotting, and it was horrible. I had to be induced. I was in labour for I don't even think I'll remember 72 hours, and then I got induced, and then I was the baby was born about five hours later. So it was really stressful. I thought I was gonna have to have a C-section, uh, they thought I was in I had an infection, I was on a drip. It was really, really uh like scary because I just didn't know what was going on. Um, and I had a midwife who was quite new. She was um I don't think she um she was very nervous and it made me really nervous. She couldn't really get the cannula in, and then she was the one that assessed me at the beginning and said that the waters had fully broken, but then they found out uh 12 hours later that the water's hand broken, and then they had to pop the waters in, which was right above the baby's head, bottle's head. So it was just very stressful, I couldn't move around, it was tied up to the thing. So that for me was what I was not expecting. Yeah. Two different very birth like different births, and I think because everyone told me, Oh, yeah, have a quick birth the first time, you're definitely gonna have a quick birth the second time, and that's just what I had. Yeah, and it wasn't like that.

SPEAKER_01 14:22

I always remember you saying to me, Kirsty, with an indie, and when I fell pregnant, you told me you were like, Tell yourself your due date is 42 weeks.

SPEAKER_05 14:30

I told but I said that to Kirsty because I was over with the girls, wasn't I? And I said to Kirstie, I said, Do not think because you was like, No, she's gonna come early. And I was like, please don't think that. I said, Because every day after your due date feels like a week. It does, like honestly, like them days go so slowly. And Kirsty was like, No, nope, she's gonna come early. I think with me as well, I lost a baby before um I had it file pregnant with indie. So I was and I there was the next cycle. So I'd already been pregnant seven weeks, lost the baby, and then I found straight away. So I found out my body had been pregnant for ages. So I was just like, my my my hormones, my body, I was just like, I've I've never suffered with mental health, but I lost my mind. I couldn't sleep. I had insomnia for about four days. I couldn't, I was just walking around the living room going, I need my baby, I need my baby. I just couldn't sleep, I couldn't. In the end, Dan took the day off work, he put me in the bath, and then he just literally straightened my back and I went to sleep. I just could not, I couldn't settle. My head was wild. Yeah, too many hormones and like stress, I think, after so you can really.

SPEAKER_06 15:33

You go through that whole like nine months and you just say, You just want the baby here now, right? And you get to that point where you're like, I'm done.

SPEAKER_05 15:39

Yeah, you feel like someone punishing you, don't you take it personally? It's nothing you can do about it's nature, yeah. You take it so personally, like you've done something, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And you try everything in the book to get them to annoying because everyone obviously wants to just support you and be there for you, but it's like no, the baby's not here. Yeah, it's the messages that you get, and they're like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like, stop asking the baby.

SPEAKER_03 16:05

Oh my god, it wants to be mental. It's the worst thing you should ask someone that's overjured.

SPEAKER_06 16:14

Yeah, yeah. Um and Charles, I know you kind of didn't have that experience, you it burst Jackson quite early.

SPEAKER_05 16:22

Yes, so my eldest Jackson, he came a little bit earlier, five, six weeks early. Um, with Jackson in my third trimester, I developed a condition called ICP, and ICP is a condition where your bile acids in your body build up.

SPEAKER_03 16:46

Now, this is only a condition you can have if you're pregnant.

SPEAKER_05 16:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 16:50

Um, so the bile acids build up in your body, and you have an incredible itching sensation on the body, which is predominantly on the hands and the feet, but it can spread to other areas of the body as well.

SPEAKER_05 17:04

So I developed that at about 28, 30 weeks pregnant with Jackson, and it was horrific.

SPEAKER_03 17:12

Like I was itching.

SPEAKER_05 17:14

Can you imagine an itch that you can't get rid of? Yeah, I had that for the whole last bit of my trimester with Jackson, yeah, and it was horrible. Um, now with ICP, you have to be monitored regularly with a midwife and have blood drawn for your bile acids, and um, you have to go on medication to control the bile acids, antihistamines, soothing topical treatments to deal with itching.

SPEAKER_03 17:44

Not really of an evening, I was in and out of a cold bath, my feet were continually in buckets of cold water, but they were really swollen as well.

SPEAKER_05 17:54

They were swollen, they were itchy, I was so uncomfortable, it was horrible. Yeah, um, so yeah, so I obviously had that, and then with the other side effect of having this condition is you have a higher risk of premature birth and also stillbirths with children, so there was obviously the physical and mental stress with having it with Jackson, my firstborn. Um, and Jackson did come early, I had to be induced early, um, which was quite traumatic.

SPEAKER_03 18:29

Actually, funnily enough, my waters went the evening before I was due in to be induced.

SPEAKER_01 18:35

Sometimes that happens, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_05 18:36

I think it was just the stress of the body, and I just knew. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:40

So my waters actually went the day before I was due to go in for my inducement, but my waters had gone and we'd had no contractions. So, normal inducement procedure, you know, pessary, balloon, um, hormone drip, yeah, brought it on. A little bit like Percy, very, very long labour with the inducement with Jackson.

SPEAKER_05 19:00

Um, yeah, and he came out eventually.

SPEAKER_06 19:05

He was okay? He was okay. And when he came out, Charles. Not like immediately, when he when he came out, um, did the itch just stop? Or did it like gradually die down?

SPEAKER_03 19:15

It took uh a week, ten days, and then literally the itching completely stopped.

SPEAKER_02 19:20

Yeah. Um that's crazy, isn't it? Yeah, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 19:23

It's mad. It was almost like a relief because the itch with LED. No, I didn't have it with LD. And actually with the condition ICP, there's a I think it's 70 to 80, 80% reoccurrence rate with subsequent children. Oh really?

SPEAKER_05 19:39

I didn't actually have it with my second, I only had it with my first, but it's very normal to have it with all of your births. So were you quite worried? On edge, yeah. Very worried that it was gonna happen with my second, yeah, but it didn't, luckily. So everything was okay with your brain two Lady as well? No, she didn't grow from 30 weeks of age, and I had to be induced with her as well. She she came early as well? No, she was late. She was late. Yeah, she was late.

SPEAKER_01 20:05

Girls, I never remember honestly, there's so many bloody babies.

SPEAKER_03 20:10

You know, yeah. Um and also with Jackson, um, I had a very long labour with Jackson, and also when I gave birth to Jackson, my placenta didn't come out afterwards. Now, sometimes when babies are a little bit early and you have an inducement, because you don't naturally contract, sometimes the placenta doesn't come out.

SPEAKER_05 20:29

Right, okay. So my placenta didn't come out with Jackson, and I had to go into theatre to have that removed afterwards with him. So I went and had an epidural after I endured three days of labour.

SPEAKER_03 20:42

I should have just had the epidural. But no, it was lovely, and I loved feeling and having my baby how he was, yeah, and it was lovely. And he was healthy and lovely, had a few breathing problems, he was a wee bit jawn just because he was early, but he was a healthy, lucky baby. Yeah, he was lovely. Yeah, and it was all worth it. Absolutely. My my little my little itch, I call him.

SPEAKER_05 21:09

I've heard you call him worse.

SPEAKER_06 21:11

Um about jawned is it's just making things when the nurse put like thought live out, and I went, oh my god, she's got you know his dad's Hungarian. I just straight away it was like she's jawned it and on the light. No, no, that's not sad, just yeah. I honestly thought you looked at me like and I guess Jazz, your verse went actually. Do you know what? Out of all of them, you had your the verse you wanted.

SPEAKER_05 21:49

Yeah, I think I was really lucky, yeah. Yeah, you were. So obviously both of them were overdue. So Elsie was 11 days over, and Nancy was nine. Days, but them 11 days were horrendous, and then I got to because it was my first baby, nobody had had babies around me. I only had like my sister who had Imogen like seven years prior, so a lot had changed in that time. And I had my mum who had me 28 years ago, yeah. Um, so I had no sue for any parenting dips. Um the thing is like things were so different. So I was like on my own with it, so I just expected her to come like on her due date or before, like I didn't expect her to go that long over. And then for about three days before she actually came, I kept having contractions at night time, and then so I'd go to bed and I'd be like, right, tonight's the night. I'll wake up in the night, my waters would have gone, and I would have I'll start contracting. It didn't happen, so I had that for like three nights running, and then it was like the Sunday night, and I started having contractions again. And I was watching Strictly Come dancing, and I said to Steve, and I was like, I'm gonna sit down here on my ball because I don't want to go to bed and these contractions die off. So that's what I did. I sat down there and they started getting like more and more and more. Um, so we ended up going to hospital because they got closer together. Went there, they then sent us home. They were like, No, you're not far gone enough. Came home, got in the bath, and um then they started getting really strong again. And I said, I need to go back to the hospital. And Steve was like, No, no, they told you like not to go back just yet, it's gonna be hours. I was like, I need to go back. This happened to you as well. Yeah, yeah, it just happened to you as well, right? Yeah, no, they were like, she was like, No, no, no, no, no, so I went back in, and then I was like obviously in active labour then, um, but I hadn't slept, so this was like early hours of Monday morning, yeah. Um, and they said, What's your birthing plan? And I was like, I don't I don't really know. Like, ideally, I'd have her in the pool, um, and they said, We'll see if anyone's on the spires. They didn't have anybody at the time, but then um the consultant midwife came down to me and she said, Oh, do you want to go to the spires? And I said, Yes, please. Didn't realise she was the consultant midwife at the time. She said, Come on, then, like, come with me. Um, and then uh I wanted a wheelchair because I was like, I can't walk. And she was like, She was like, You can walk. She was like, Walk, you'll be fine. So every like two seconds I'm stopping and having contraction. I was like, She's a bitch. Like, she's horrible. Anyway, she was like, right, there's nobody else up here. She said, I'm gonna gown up. She's like, I don't usually do this anymore. Um she was like, but I'm gonna gown up as long as you're happy to I don't normally do this. She's like the topic button, like organises everybody, she doesn't usually do it. But she knew I wanted this water birth. There was no one else up on the spirit. She was like, as long as you're happy to have a student midwife in there, and I was like, Yeah, fine, got me in the pool. And it was it was yeah, the birth was fine. Like there was no issues with actually me giving birth to Elsie. Um, but then afterwards, um, I remember holding her in the pool and she was crying, and they said, Oh, I think she's getting a little bit cold, like you probably should get out of the pool now. Um, so as I got out, there was just a massive amount of blood like pouring out of me, and then they but I didn't even I hadn't even realized so Steve and obviously these midwives are looking on, and then they hit that the buzzer the red buzzer, the buzzer, yeah, and then like within seconds, it felt like seconds, there was like 15 people in the room. Um, and I hadn't had that injection. They asked me if I wanted that injection to get your placenta out quicker, and I was like, No, no, no, like I'll just let it come out naturally, and then they were like, I'm gonna have to give you this injection to get your placenta out because we think that's causing the problems. So, anyway, they did that, and um, like Steve always said, he was like looking on, like watching all these people do whatever they were doing to me. I was in a little world on my own, not knowing what's going on, and he was sat there with Elsie thinking, I'm a single dad. He was like, What the hell am I gonna do? I didn't realise it was that bad until they were then stitching me up afterwards, and I started feeling awful. Yeah, um, and I literally I think I must have said to the midwife about 10 times, I was like, I think I'm dying. Like, I literally think I'm dying. She was like, You're not dying. She's like, I'm not gonna let you die.

SPEAKER_07 26:16

And um, I swear from it.

SPEAKER_05 26:17

I remember like Steve kept saying, Should we like ring your mum and tell her we've had the baby? And I was like, No, no, no, just give me like half an hour more because I want to ring her and tell her. Yeah, I just like wasn't feeling any better. Mum, dad, Angela, and Imogen ended up coming in, and they actually sent them home in the end because I was just yeah, wiped out. And I think Steve like ended up ringing all you guys.

SPEAKER_06 26:38

I was gonna say, so me and Alice were actually together, weren't we?

SPEAKER_05 26:41

And do you remember that phone call? Honestly, I remember Steve calling and he put the camera on you, you had no idea. Yeah, and she was wiped, she was like a ghost. We were like, wow, and then you obviously Stephen said you'd lost, I think, how much blood was it? I think they couldn't measure it properly because of like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think if they'd been able to measure it, I probably would have needed like a transfusion.

SPEAKER_04 27:02

Yeah, that's probably why you're feeling so crushed.

SPEAKER_05 27:04

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She felt awful. But then I was also worried because then I was like, well, I haven't spent any time with Elsie. I was like, I'm not gonna bond with her, all of this because I didn't feel normal for maybe like a good like 12 to 15 hours afterwards. Yeah, and I remember they tried to send Steve home, and I was like, No, I was like, he can't. I said I'll discharge myself. Yeah, I was like, because I can't be here on my own, I can't look after a baby. Um, but yeah, that that was Elsie's. Um, and then Nancy uh I she came really quickly. I can't even remember like what the timings were. She was overdue, but then when the Labour actually came on, she came really quickly. I ended up having a um water bath again. Um, and my waters broke while I was in the pool, and then literally as soon as my waters went, she was there was like no stopping her going out. I don't know if your waters broke when you're in the pool. Oh, you could have I I felt it. Well, yeah, I felt it. Yeah, you can sometimes feel the bitch. But they thought she was gonna be like born, you know, like when they're born in the sack. Sorry, the whole waters have really great, and they were like, she she might come out in the sack, yeah, and then they went, and then she came out, and then I was petrified. I was like, because I could see blood, and I was like, you need to give me that injection quickly. I was like, I need to get my presenter out, and I was freaking out, yeah, but everything was yeah, fine with her. She pooed, so we had to stay in for like 12 hours to get her monitored, but pooped in you or pooped, yeah, like when she was coming out. Fine. So um, so she had to be monitored. But I think if that didn't happen, we would have been home within an hour. I know. And they really do discharge you really quickly. But I would have preferred that as well, just to get out. This is why I ended up saying it for like two days, but it wasn't me.

SPEAKER_06 28:49

They discharged me, it was it's live, like enough to you have to go, but oh yeah, see that I'll pick you up in the morning. Yeah, it's gonna be nice. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 28:59

You say that I think they should keep you in longer. I was not ready to go home when I went home, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_04 29:05

Oh, you know. How long were you in?

SPEAKER_05 29:07

So obviously I had to go in, I had to go in for my epidural to have my placenta removed, and then I was in for two days, was it? Yeah. But I was not ready to come out at all by then. I reckon I could have done another day or two.

SPEAKER_07 29:21

Really?

SPEAKER_05 29:22

But the problem for me was I was struggling with the latch, and I really wanted Jackson to feed off of me. Yeah, and I wasn't comfortable enough leaving until I knew that I had mastered it, and yeah, it didn't happen. Yeah. I had the COVID experience, unfortunately. Oh, it was when I gave birth to Indy. Of course. So they literally said to me, I thought spires, I'd have water birth, and then they put me in a lovely room and I was like gonna stay over, and then um then they came and knocked on my door, like, oh, your your results are back, and unfortunately, you have COVID. So we're gonna have to like move you right to the end into like a separate bedroom, like isolate you kind of thing. So I said, That's fine, I'm just gonna get dressed and go home. So literally, I'd had Indy um in the morning, and by the afternoon, Dan had come picked me up and we've gone home. That's just mental as well. I think with your second, you want to get home, yeah. Because you just you I wanted to get home and like show Elsie the baby and just like get back to comfort. But with Elsie, I probably could have stayed in longer with Elsie. I think if I didn't have COVID or they but they were happy for me to go because it was that really scary time where everybody was really worried, and obviously babies, you know, it's high risk and it went. Visiting and stuff, because you were only allowed one person down to come in.

SPEAKER_06 30:45

I look, I wanted to leave the hospital as soon as I gave birth, genuinely. Didn't want to be there, had to stay there for like two days. That night, the first night, Toddy obviously had to go home, but the second night he actually stayed with me. Yeah. And I and I remember sobbing to the midwife. I just said I just want to leave. And he came back at midnight. They found us a room because I just I like I'd lost my brain. I was like, I can't be on my own. Like it's such a vulnerable time. Yeah, it was, it wasn't nice. Like what about you, Sarah? What was your experience like? Because I know you had a bit of a rough time. She's laughing, you're laughing.

SPEAKER_04 31:17

I love it. I actually think I blank half of it out, but um no, to be honest, Al became what did my waters went 10 days early before due date. I was not expecting it. Literally, mum and dad went out for the night. They checked in with me and they're like, Are you feeling okay? I was like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm fine. They went out for the night. Um, and then about half an hour my waters broke, and then I was like, shit, I think I'd wet myself.

SPEAKER_02 31:40

Right, are you watching I'm a celebrity?

SPEAKER_04 31:42

No, I wasn't. I was watching like some drug and gang war thing.

unknown 31:44

Oh, Gangs of London!

SPEAKER_07 31:47

Yeah, how about right series?

SPEAKER_04 31:52

You were watching like something quite funny on the it wasn't, it was quite like intense, and then my waters just went. Um and then I was like, I don't know if I've just went myself because I just was not expecting anything at all. So I got up and then suddenly it just flubhered down me, and then I went on the terror words of the lover, description. Oh, the descriptive and then my contraction started within literally seconds of my waters breaking, and then I said to Sadie, I don't know what to do. And he was like, Che che we need to bring the hospital, we need to bring the hospital, we need to get you in. And I was like, Oh no, I'm fine, I'm fine. So I went up and had a shower, had a day, badly dough. I'm changed, not beneath it.

SPEAKER_05 32:43

No, no, no, no, it's not contracted.

SPEAKER_07 32:45

I absolutely did not show it before I went into the job.

SPEAKER_05 32:56

Anyhow, date before she came in.

SPEAKER_04 32:59

Anyhow, I needed the dog to go somewhere, it was half past ten, mum and dad went in. Mamma Lam went down to Milan's house, she was like, oh you okay. Off we trot into hospital. We trot. Off we trot and then get up into the spires. I was the only one up there as well, actually. We were lucky and things didn't allow anyone else in the same room.

SPEAKER_05 33:27

Yeah, they didn't allow the never going to go there, sorry to interrupt to have a look at the J Honis like a midwifery led, so there's no doctors up there. No, um, so you can only go up there if you have like um no complication. I was never getting to the and all I wanted was a spirit spirt. I had neither with either of them. Yeah, I mean, yeah, so like it's like low risk, but they obviously still got the doctors downstairs if you need to. If you need to be there, and how they get up there, but like honestly, I have no idea how people got up there so quickly.

SPEAKER_04 33:56

They probably just like sprint and just go. But yeah, it's not that we're gonna put that.

SPEAKER_06 34:02

You get up to the the IP tree.

SPEAKER_04 34:04

The IP tree Sarah's name, and just trying to remember get in there. Red carpet, yeah, red carpet and everything. No, get in there and have not had a water burf, got in the water though, and then they was like, You'll push him, but nothing's happening really. Like, he's not coming. Um, let me have a little look at him. So I got out of the water, and they said that he they could see his head, see his head like tilted and stuck in me. Um, so they were I was like, No, I just need to get this baby out because the the contractions are that all you want to do is just push air, which is just horrendous. Yeah, just the most and I obviously had no gas and air at this point either. Yeah, and there was like he's swelling up on the head in something so they can feel him. So um they also pressed the red button button, like you said, so I had to go down on my knees on a wheelchair, literally stuckered. It was horrible.

SPEAKER_05 34:56

You just don't care though, do you?

SPEAKER_04 34:58

You don't well, no, you don't care, but like the theatre wasn't even ready, so I had to be in the side room for probably it about like two hours, and all they said to me was like, When you can track, you cannot urge to push, you can't physically pay natural. I was in the most worst pain in my life, and uh, they did give me gas and air then because I was just beside myself, I was like crying. I was like, I just want that baby out, and then poor like daily. He was like, What's gonna happen? Like his head's swelling up inside me. There's no theatre ready because someone else was already in there. Anyhow, we get in, and he I had to have I can't say the phase of it. Yeah, pseudo means that, and that was fine obviously when he was having it, but the after thing of it, it took me six months. They thought they was gonna have to recut me because I wasn't healing. So then he came and he was absolutely fine at the end. He had a little like mark on his face. You had forceps, didn't you, Sarah? Yeah, yeah. Well, I just thought they would put like pull him out, and there's like you've still got to push it.

SPEAKER_05 36:05

But especially when you're up there as well, you're in the water, and you think, Well, this is gonna be it, like this is how my labour's gonna be.

SPEAKER_04 36:11

I just thought that was it, like my contraction started, my waters broke, my contraction started. Yeah, it was in what I wanted, and then it just went, but then what they found out he was obviously back to back, and that's why he got stuck. So then that's why I was in so much pain as well. But they got him out safely, and yeah, he's a little darling, bless him. A little Ariella she Ariella. She she came on due date. I actually two days before due date, I went to the trampoline park and I literally bounced her out and my waters broke that night.

SPEAKER_03 36:44

They say bouncing's good.

SPEAKER_04 36:45

They say bouncing's good, and I was like, I cannot go over because I listened to like you guys, and I was just like, I cannot go over because I think I'll go insane. Um, so my waters did break that night, but then I didn't contract, so my body completely did two different things.

SPEAKER_05 36:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:59

Um, with Albie, it was so quick, with her, it just did not contract. So I went into hospital that night, and they was like, Are you sure your waters broke? I was like, I was like literally soaked. That's what they asked me as well.

SPEAKER_05 37:09

They're like, Are you sure your waters come up?

SPEAKER_04 37:11

I had to show them a video of my leggings. Yes. Yeah, I don't think I had to show a pad, yeah, yeah, too. Because nothing they had gone completely, they had fully gone, there was nothing dribbling out of me, they were fully gone, she was fully exposed basically. And I went back and I was like, Well, I'll take a video of my leggings, they were still soaked, they were disgusting. Anyhow, still no contractions overnight, um, still the next day, nothing. And then eight o'clock at night, I was like, Oh, I've got to get this baby out because if I don't, I'm I was booked in the TV. Yeah, so I was like bouncing on my ball, and then they were starting to come. And I think the more you worry about it, yeah, for your contractions not to be there, the less they're gonna be there. Yeah, yeah. Because you have to relax, you just have to let your body what is it?

SPEAKER_05 37:59

The boxy dose, oxygen dose into your end. Yeah, you can say oxygen. I was like, Yeah, very okay.

SPEAKER_07 38:10

Or the oxygen.

SPEAKER_04 38:12

Um, so then I think it was similar time to Albie. We went into the hospital about half ten, quarter to eleven. I was in the waiting room, and I was like, not mooing, but I was moaning. I was like, I am contracting now, like it went from zero to a hundred in a space of an hour. And um Daddy went up to the reception counter and was like, uh excuse me, I think my wife's about to give birth. And she was like, No, and then she turned around and looked at me, she was like, When they came, no, and yeah, I'm not oh and everyone's looking, it was busy, and yeah. I just sat there because obviously they had problems, they weren't in labour, these other uh women in there. And then I got into the room and she came within minutes, literally, lit so quick, three pushes, she flew out.

SPEAKER_05 38:56

Oh so you're your so your waters came right out, your waters came, and then literally what how long were you at home for before she was actually went back into hospital?

SPEAKER_04 39:07

Oh, 24 hours. My contractions just didn't start. But then when my contraction started when she was born, it was three hours literally gone and dusted, and literally my notes said three pushers. Three pushers, and that was it, and she was out. But then because she did come so quick, and she was only a dot actually, considering she was like 40 weeks exactly, she was only six pounds, I think she was six eight, she had to go on that breathing machine that ages um well for an hour or so. Um but she was just fine. I think I compressed her lungs a little bit earlier. Um but yeah, she got two different birds, completely two different birds. Can I ask you guys a question?

SPEAKER_05 39:49

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 39:50

Who and again I've had a little bit more experience because like my sisters and things like that had babies and other friends also, but it's so from all the stories that I've heard, it's so common that you obviously have this birthing plan, but a lot of the time it doesn't actually go to the plan go to plan.

SPEAKER_05 40:11

Not at all. So did anyone actually have a birth that went to plan? I I never had a plan, like I and I actually think and I said that to all of you girls. I you always did want a water birth. I said a water birth and I said in an ideal world I have a water birth, but I was like, I was aware that that might not happen. So I was like, I want that to happen. If it doesn't happen, then so be it. And I think I said to all you girls, I was like, don't have in your head that this is gonna happen or this is gonna happen, because like anything. But that was my problem because of how lovely Indy came. Yeah, I had in my head that was it for me to do it. So when it was the complete opposite, I was gutted. Yeah, yeah. But I was like silly of me to think that, but I did like that. But it's nice to have a plan, but it doesn't always go that way. And you just need to be prepared that you know anything could happen. I guess for me as well, like obviously I preference, yeah. I loved a water birth. I think that's everybody's preference, isn't it? Like, because everybody talks about it.

SPEAKER_06 41:14

I feel like my my my decision was taken out of hands because obviously Olivia turned breach and they couldn't turn her, she wouldn't turn.

SPEAKER_05 41:21

So that I always knew I was gonna have to have a C-section. Oh yeah, so that that that was with notes as well. I miss breach, and I went into the turning present, and I was like, I'm just gonna sound like a C-section. I said because they're not turning her, yeah. I was having not going through that. But then they did, they did turn her, and she did turn, but it was so compacted and wedged under my bit they physically couldn't do it.

SPEAKER_06 41:43

Yeah, so they were like, This is what you're going to have to do. So I think in my brain, I was like, Well, actually, that's what I'm gonna do, and you know, I think there's a difference between having an emergency C section to a planned C sec C section for a lot of women I've spoken to. Yeah, do you know what I mean? So I think for me, I already had it. I already had it in my head that that decision was taken out of my hands, that made sense, and that decision was made for me.

SPEAKER_03 42:09

Do you know? They can turn all the time as well, yeah, all the time.

SPEAKER_05 42:13

My two turned all the time throughout my pregnancy.

SPEAKER_06 42:16

Do you know what I'll say though? I had such bad pelvic girdle pain, like I know you all did, but my pelvic girdle pain instantly went the moment Lydia turned breach, it just went away. And it was like, and I know that you guys obviously had a rough time with it, but I I don't know, when she turned, it was like the sun came out, and I was like It was like a relief. Yeah, but then actually you're like, you're like shit, I've got a T-section. Yeah, do you know what I mean? So it's like it's pros and cons. Yeah, yeah. So I think your answer to your question, Alice, is no, I think people yeah, should probably not go into it and be like, I need this birth, but yeah, because again, your expectations are not going to be met.

SPEAKER_05 42:54

You can certainly have a preference how you would like to give birth, yeah, but you just need to be prepared that it's not always going to go that way. Yeah, and do you know what I found as well? Like once you actually I thought when I've had look when I had Elsie, I was like, Well that's it, like I've had my perfect birth had her in the pool. Never did I think actually that things could go wrong afterwards. Like with you, like with your placenta, like who knew that the placenta could cause so many problems? Because my problems actually happened after she was born, and I never expected that. You always think that everything's gonna manage it's not just on the birth. Yeah, I think it's gonna happen afterwards, the blood loss, yeah, complications afterwards. Well, and Sarah, yours was months and like months ago.

SPEAKER_04 43:37

Yeah. Oh months. Well, yeah, it was it was horrible where they stitched me. Obviously, these girls have seen the pictures. Um but where they stitched We certainly have Where they stitched me, they left like a little buttonhole and they kind of went up into my leg where they hit I don't know if it they cut or whether it tore even more because obviously they were trying to get the bore set up there and bring them out. They do down then up, but like right up in my leg, didn't it? And it was just awful. But the little button, I it just wasn't healing. Um and they said that they would potentially have to cut me. If it didn't heal, they'd have to re-cut me exactly how they cut me in the circuit and have to go through the whole thing. Okay. Luckily, I got some sterile, sterile uh cream stuff, and it actually helped. Um, but I was kind of blessed the second time round with Ariella because they actually re-stitched me up nicely because it was I was in pain until Ariella came.

SPEAKER_00 44:35

You basically get a design of a bit of a little DV.

SPEAKER_04 44:38

We can't say that.

SPEAKER_00 44:39

No, I'm enjoying the bad stitches girls.

SPEAKER_03 44:41

Uh the stitches after birth, not the worst thing ever. Do you think they sting and are so painful? I did not feel I had a horrible stitch. Stitches after birth.

SPEAKER_05 44:51

Savage. I had I didn't have horrible labour with Dottie, and it was really long, and I was super emotional. All I wanted to do is like try and breastfeed her and put her on my breath, and then the midwife comes with a trainee midwife to do some training to stitch me up. I could not tell you how angry. I couldn't tell you how angry I got. Yeah, I'm not angry at that. I don't really, and then kind of find sweep my mind, but I've never seen me that angry in my life. I went, I went, I'm not really the person you want to train on. I said, I just had this really emotional time. I'm really stressed out. I went, Oh would you mind? I didn't send you got a stitch, but can you just stitch it up now? All I wanted was an hour with my baby. Yes. Me and my baby. I did say that. She came back and can we stitch it up and I went, No, I just want to because Dottie was screaming blue murder. I couldn't get her to latch on. I was getting really stressed. I I was so stressed out, and then she was then just going, no, no, no, no. I went, I really don't want her to train on me right now. I said, I really just want to be with my baby, and then Dottie was screaming, and then it she like I went to stand. He didn't even say anything, I went. I went I don't want you to train on with to like today. And is that alright? And she was just like the the the the trainee went, she went tap training and went right. She could see, like I was really like, I don't want it. Like sorry, I understand like you're helping me anything, but in that moment, all I wanted was an hour with my baby, and she was screaming. Dottie, I was so stressed out, and I was like, Really? Why are you gonna train her on me? Like, I am not the perfect candidate to train. I've just got like 72 hours in 17 hours that day, it would have just been so stressed out. I was like, No, thank you. Like, but fair play to you though. Yeah, like I know I never really I can't remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Dan literally, if you asked Dan, he was literally like, yeah. Super angry, like yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:43

So you're not asked, it's just it happens to you.

SPEAKER_05 46:45

They do want to say if you want like like if you're happy to have training, because I had a trainee midwife in both of them. They didn't ask me. And the thing is, is I actually asked for the time and said, All I want after the breastfeeding experience with with Indy, yeah, is just to have an hour. Just that's the only thing I ever had in my birth plan. Was like, I want Dottie to go straight on my breath. Yeah, I just want to have an hour, skin-to-skin contact, naked with Dan, just there. That's all I asked. I think I'm not precious about anything else, and she could give me that, she went, no. And I said, I did ask just for an hour. That's what I want. I just want to wait an hour, yeah. Dottie was screaming as well, so she was really stressed, which made you really stressed. Yeah, and I was just like, No, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 47:23

She wasn't listening to Yeah, and I to be honest, I'm glad that all of us seem to be able to like advocate for ourselves in that position because again, like you say, it is a really vulnerable moment. I always remember my mum said to me, You leave your dignity in the door and you pick it up on the way out. Yeah, it's so true, isn't it?

SPEAKER_05 47:38

In that moment, you just don't give a share. You're like, whatever.

SPEAKER_04 47:43

No, you're just in that zone of just getting your baby here.

SPEAKER_06 47:45

Yeah, when um they laid me down to like 23rd C section. I had a midwife who's there with Steve, genuinely.

SPEAKER_05 47:52

And he was like, Yeah, do you want to find Catherine? And I was like, Do you know what, Steve? Do what you ever want to do, mate.

SPEAKER_06 47:57

I am numb.

SPEAKER_04 48:00

I cannot feel my legs.

SPEAKER_06 48:01

No, exactly. Um so I guess moving on from your birth and stories, thank you all for talking about them. Because I know it's it's pretty hard, and you guys are great, and you all come through it, and you're good mums.

SPEAKER_05 48:13

Good mums.

SPEAKER_02 48:15

You're a mum.

SPEAKER_01 48:20

Um how has becoming a mum changed you, do you think?

SPEAKER_00 48:28

It's not you coming to the pub with me on a Friday afternoon.

SPEAKER_02 48:33

It didn't stop me last Friday.

SPEAKER_05 48:35

I think we're now on the back.

unknown 48:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 48:38

Yeah. So it took a while though. We're all coming back slowly now, aren't we? Yeah. I think it just I I think it's definitely uh softened me. Yeah, yeah. You wear the ice cream, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and uh yeah, with the girls, I mean they absolutely drive me mental sometimes, but it's definitely yeah, softened me. Yeah, I think it's like changed my life. I think it's the best thing I've ever done. I love being a man walker. It is honestly like true. I love it. I absolutely love it. I think I remember messaging you girls, my when Elsie was born, and I think it was like a few days in, and I think I messaged you a picture of her, and I was like, honestly, girls, this is the best feeling in the world. Yeah, like having a baby. Yeah, I think I want another one. Here we go. I love that spoiler alert.

SPEAKER_01 49:29

Tune in next time. Jesse's the other class three.

SPEAKER_06 49:34

Oh, do you know what? That's right. Yeah, Charles Anne, any what's your?

SPEAKER_05 49:39

Honestly, I've actually struggled being a bit a mum, actually. Um, I feel like it's taken away my independence, me as a person. It's quite selfish of me to say that, or being brutally honest.

SPEAKER_03 49:56

Um, yeah, it's been very difficult for me. I feel like I have lost my way a lot. Now the children are a bit older. I feel like I'm, you know, you're definitely more settling on to mother myself more.

SPEAKER_05 50:07

But yeah, I really struggled actually with children. I feel like some women are very maternal and it comes very natural to them.

SPEAKER_07 50:15

Kirsty. 100% cursty, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:17

Um, but I I think I struggled with that. Yeah. Um, I struggled with giving my everything and my full attention to these two human beings, you know, and I almost resented having my own space and my own time and be able to have the freedom to do what I wanted to do. Yeah, so yeah, I absolutely adore my children. I would not change them for the world.

SPEAKER_05 50:41

But being brutally honest, yeah, it's been very difficult. Yeah, but you know, I don't think enough people say that though, you know, and like everybody has their moments where you feel like that, yeah, hundreds of yeah, and nobody says it because they probably feel like it's frowned upon, I shouldn't say that. That's so true.

SPEAKER_02 50:58

I feel like it's only again, I'm not so much in like the mum's chat, but I feel like you are you are more confident to talk about that now rather than at the beginning. Yeah, yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_05 51:11

It's been something that I think you have probably struggled with on your own quite a lot. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you've not been as spoken about it in the early days as you are now. Oh, yeah, that's Charlotte though, isn't it? She liked dealt with a pillar. You're a mum, aren't you? And you get on with it, you know. Life is life, you've got your children to look after you, and you throw yourself in the deep end and you just get on with it. Sean, you did have it particularly difficult because you have two under two, which yeah, mental. I have like obviously the age gap of like three and a half years, and that's quite tough. I can't imagine two under two. Yeah, I couldn't imagine that's both of them. Yeah, two cavity babies, yeah. It was a struggle. That was tough. That was a good thing. In hindsight, I thought I'd get them out the way quick and early.

SPEAKER_03 51:58

Yeah, but actually, in hindsight, it was very hard. I do also very hard.

SPEAKER_02 52:02

Like the support, like obviously, you've got the support of all the girls and stuff, but yeah. Probably your parents moving away. Not saying that like they should be around like your parents should be able to do it.

SPEAKER_05 52:11

But your village got smaller, yeah. Having support as a mother is so important. The top, yeah. I've got top every day. Yeah, I was never at my house before. I moved my mummy, yeah, yeah. I moved back home, yeah. Yeah, you but you survive, you're mums, we survived that. Yeah, it's just natural insect, and you do survive, yeah. And Sarah's been like a duck to water, she's just like they've always been there. Sarah, you're like mummy friggin' merry popping, isn't she? Yeah, you're a great one.

SPEAKER_01 52:43

You mean we did the party yesterday, right? And Olivia was like, Mummy, snack. I was like, I ain't got any, and every single one of them went to Sarah.

SPEAKER_04 52:50

Yeah, because my kids do not stop eating, they literally like I don't know what's wrong with them, and then they come to dinner time and they won't eat. I know she's the snapper.

SPEAKER_05 53:04

And yeah, you are a snapper.

SPEAKER_04 53:06

I am got secret sweets, yeah. Yeah, but this is what my problem is with my kids, they're like, Can we have a snack? And I'm like, no, and then they go and get sweets, and it's my own fault.

SPEAKER_00 53:17

This is why I don't have these weeks anymore because my kids love you.

SPEAKER_02 53:20

Yesterday at the party at this party, Ariana came in, she just licked the whole of the ice cake, just lick the icing.

SPEAKER_04 53:30

But it was her cake from the other part.

SPEAKER_05 53:31

Oh somebody had swiped some icing off the actual cake. That might have been Olivia, genuinely.

SPEAKER_04 53:38

No, that wasn't Arianna, no. But she probably would have done that, Justin. Licking it all me.

SPEAKER_06 53:44

And um, like watching us, you know, go from being, you know, stupid schoolgirls to messy teenagers to idiot in our twenties and now mum.

SPEAKER_01 53:56

What do you um think has like changed? Do we do you think we changed?

SPEAKER_02 54:01

Oh definitely, but I think we've all changed.

SPEAKER_05 54:04

I'm not a mum and I've definitely changed between your teens, your twenties, and your thirties.

SPEAKER_02 54:10

Um but I think I think you've all just become more resilient and more open, I think.

SPEAKER_05 54:17

I think you you guys are becoming parents has not only changed your perspective on life and like what goes on and what's important, but I think it also has then changed because like I think you guys have been so open and honest about sharing everything, it then has really helped me get a better perspective on life as well.

SPEAKER_02 54:42

Um, and I just think like I'm in awe of all of you, like all of your stories, all of your resilience, like how you've all supported each other, and how I think becoming parents we've always been really good friends, but I think becoming parents and being so vulnerable with each other has brought us all even closer together than we were before. Yeah, yeah, I agree. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 55:10

I think um me obviously going through what I went through, I'd be really open about it. But I feel like if I didn't have you guys, it would be a lot harder to talk about. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, does that make any sense? Like just to be able to share it and say, Do you know what guys are actually not okay? Yeah, and again, it's that it's okay not to be okay.

SPEAKER_02 55:30

Yeah, but then again, like we were talking the other day, weren't we? And I was like, I'm because I I think we've all seen each other at like drop buttons. Yeah, like I'm not gonna parent, but uh you guys have seen me and my buttons, yeah. And then when you see that person doing the work and getting to that point, like I'm so proud of like all of you like a cry a lot of the time. Because like I think but I think it's just so amazing that like you are the only person that really actually manages to get you out of it. It just takes it takes that village to support you to be able to do the work, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 56:08

Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_02 56:09

Yeah, and it's just amazing to see all of like how much you've grown and how much you've all flourished and been like the most amazing parents. Like if I did ever have a child, like I'd want to be like you guys, like and I'd be so grateful that I'd have you guys have all been through such like crap experiences that you would be able to support me through that, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 56:34

But I don't even think it's like even talking about is just like having you girls there. Like, I think like when other things have happened, like the first thing I've wanted to do is like just come and see you girls and just like have a normal time and just talk about like normal things and actually just being around yeah, going away that makes you feel better naturally.

SPEAKER_06 56:54

Going away from like motherhood, just yeah, general like day-to-day stuff and things that happened in life, you know. We've been friends for what 25 years now. It's also just a change of conversation from like mommy.

SPEAKER_05 57:07

I wish someone would just call me the age, not right.

SPEAKER_04 57:09

Well, I I've actually changed my name. I'm not mummy anymore.

SPEAKER_02 57:12

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 57:13

I'm not telling them. No I do actually say to them and they just look really cool, you know.

SPEAKER_05 57:24

Um Jazz, what do you think's changed you? Uh well, uh a lot. Um but the biggest thing, yeah, um, and not something emotionally, but I just coughed a minute ago and uh weave myself because your pelvic floors will never be the same again. So when they tell you to do your pelvic floors when you do them, do them because I've been through physio and it's still not any bad.

SPEAKER_04 57:52

So do them afterwards as well, not just before.

SPEAKER_05 57:55

It's it's a bad time.

SPEAKER_06 57:56

If you have a C section and release and intact downstairs, my job!

SPEAKER_05 58:02

Not when you have £8.10 and £8.13 babies.

SPEAKER_04 58:10

I don't I don't I don't know. I think I just feel like I've age. My body feels ruined.

SPEAKER_05 58:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 58:16

Like not even like down. I just feel crippled.

SPEAKER_05 58:20

You get back on the rock. Safara, the greys.

SPEAKER_04 58:24

The greys, yeah, everything, but you don't realise until like you look like a tramp after time.

SPEAKER_05 58:31

Then you have to spend so much money on Botox.

SPEAKER_04 58:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 58:35

Cursed. I'm not spending money on Botox. Um do you feel like Brotherhood's changing? What's changed for you? Um definitely changed. Yeah, I feel like it um it just made me a better person. Like definitely like I was a bit wild. Quite a wild time in my early 20s, and then when I was a mum, it just yeah, made me settle down, homebod, lovely at home with my girls. That's it, really. Like definitely stopped the party in. Can't pick that back up the other end.

SPEAKER_07 59:15

In your 40s, yeah, yeah.

unknown 59:18

Definitely.

SPEAKER_07 59:20

Like, seriously.

SPEAKER_05 59:29

Um, yeah, it's hard, but it's beautiful, it's wonderful. Cherish your moment, keep your friends, your family close, and you'll be all good. Yeah, yeah. Short and sweet. Lovely. Oh god. Um I feel like I'm losing the fucking will to know.

SPEAKER_06 59:51

Um, I probably just um I've always been quite open with how I feel, we all know that. I'm very emotional. Um, but I feel like um not so much to change, but I feel like I'm really proud of myself, advocating for myself and talking and speaking about my issues and my problems because again, not spoken about enough. And just that I put in the work and got myself better. Can I just say that I think we're really proud of you as well?

SPEAKER_05 1:00:17

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really proud of you. It's amazing. This is gonna create a great community for people to do this, and yeah, you should be proud of yourself. Thank you, thank you.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:27

And I couldn't agree about you, and you know, Toddy and you know, just uh Olivia, obviously, because she's you know the baby. Baby live. Um, but yeah, thanks guys, thank you for coming on. Before we go, I wanted to put this one on Alice and do a little quick fire round.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:44

Oh god, okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:45

Um just a few quick little questions, really, just to see what you think. Um, if anyone else wants to chip in, more than welcome to.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:51

But are we all gonna have to say what's up?

SPEAKER_06 1:00:56

Um so yeah, quick fire out, most dramatic in pregnancy.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:00

You me?

SPEAKER_06 1:01:01

I have one question.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:04

Yeah, you uh bag yourself out with that one. Absolutely, Leanne. 100% Lianne. What do you mean?

SPEAKER_07 1:01:10

Yeah, really?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:13

100% is not a back note for about a long, long time.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:29

And that was long enough. But I found out he was only like two weeks.

unknown 1:01:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:35

So when we found that he wasn't very far, I'd literally like just been like an implantation had happened. I was like, Jasmine, I'm pregnant. Okay, who complained the most? I'm not I'm not part of this. Who complained the most?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:52

Leanne.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:56

You are you are writing these questions and you thought I was gonna say Jasper's If I was answering this question, it'd be dad. Because you're not you haven't seen yourself. I've been fine with it yet.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:12

I'll wait at the end.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:20

I'll put a lot of bad. Oh my god, you went to that.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:35

It was like all the water weight out.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:40

I didn't wear the water.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:49

It was the outcome.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:55

That is absolutely hilarious. Um, who is the most chilled-out mum?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:01

Or I don't know. I I do think Kirsty, but I do all I don't know, because I think in different parts you're all probably not. But no, absolutely.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:17

Different aspects, I think you're fairy tale with different pick one person right now who's panic over it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fair enough, fair enough. Who panicked over everything?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:26

Again, not including ready.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:35

Just asking our mummy groups. She's like, right, let's just have this. What do I do?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:39

No, it's away, put some on money. You should take after Charlotte, who her daughter fell over at the bath the other day. She rubbed a little bit of water on it and then spam, it went off. Charlotte. That'll be fun.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:05

And everyone's like, it's not fun. She's got a buffet path on here. So who's panicked over it? I'm not included. I'm not included in the rest of the questions.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:15

I don't think to be fair, I think you're all pretty level-headed.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:23

The rest of us are just like, it all really won it being like it's hard. I didn't say any of the things.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:30

Yeah, fair enough.

unknown 1:04:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:32

I mean, you're so glad you're asking me these questions.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:38

Um which the kids will run the world one day.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:41

But what that's a good question.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:44

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:44

That is a good question.

unknown 1:04:45

She wants lived to be honest.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:47

I mean this one.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:52

I'd like to put my child forward.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:56

I love that. That is gonna love it. I think it might be Nancy. I'm gonna take Nancy.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:02

I mean because that face will get her everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:05

And like those little eyes, and she will yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:08

But she's just sort of independent. She hates quite a bit. Yeah, she uh she knows how to do it.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:12

Elsie would like to think she could be, but she's too emotional for that. Whereas Nancy is cut crow.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:18

I'm scared of anyone that comes up against the whole crow.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:21

Yeah, take them down. Do you feel like your second child is all different? Because I know you said Dottie is completely Melody's completely different.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:32

There's similarities between the girls and they enjoy the same things, but their personalities are so different. Yeah, Nancy does not give a shit. Whereas Elsie is like a people pizza. Which is the same like in the same as that. My first is normal second. Yeah, it's normal like that. A lot of people warned me, so I was like, Oh, you know, we have a second child, you know, be ready for that, they're gonna be a bit wild. I was like, This is what I produce, it's Cindy's yeah. She's just people looking then Dottie came if they judge you on your first child. Yeah, 100%. I've got no friggin' hope.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:12

She's hilarious. She's the funny, she's got the best personality.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:17

She's my child.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:18

And she's got that deadpan look as well. She knows she just loves it.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:21

My mum makes a joke. She's from Scotland. She's like, she doesn't know whether she's going to give you like a cuddle or like a glass of each. On edge all the time. Sometimes she'll be cutting there. Her aunt will swing out straight in the face and her in the front.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:37

Run after her, picked up. She knows what she wants. You had your second child first. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:48

That's you with a second Lynn. Guys, at the end of the day, Liv is enough.

unknown 1:06:59

Right?

SPEAKER_06 1:07:00

All the personality. She is absolutely what's that film? Split. She was like 27 personality. Okay, and then last one, I know I don't know the answer to be. I all want you to answer this at the same time. Are you ready? Oh gosh, count us in then. Right, three, two, one. Who would you trust that East of Babysit? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:24

Absolutely. No.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:26

No, to be fair, I'll trust you with my fitness. You have a babysat image at that time, do you remember? Oh yeah. We had my fish and everything.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:35

She was having my house and she thought she was six. She was talking about sixteen. She was babysitting.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:46

She was baby. She won't get to see.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:55

She's crying. It is my easiest child.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:00

Yeah. Oh my gosh. Right, guys. Thank you so much for that. I feel like we could talk for hours. And we probably will once we stop recording. But just to thank you all for coming on the podcast. But you're happy that we have any time to say.